Beautiful

I wish I could say I put a lot of thought into your death , when I was going to do it , how I was going to do it , but I didn’t . I’m not sure I exactly remember when I knew I was going to kill you , it wasn’t a conscious decision , I just sort of knew ...

I think it was the first time we made love , interlocked as one . I knew then that your death would be on my hands . I hated you ; I loved you , and I had no idea why . It was an itching in the back of my mind . I wanted to harm you and caress you at the same time . The worst part about it was that you knew it too , and you know it now .

I was in the kitchen when I knew what I would kill you with . You were standing next to me , your short black hair a shaggy mess framing your face with your favorite gray shirt hanging off your shoulders as you chopped up the carrots . You were beautiful , but the knife in your hands was even more beautiful , the kitchen light glinting off of it as you brought it up and down . I knew then that the knife in your hands would be your end , and as you looked up at me , your eyes following where my gaze was , you knew too .

Now as I stand in front of our bathroom mirror , the knife in my hand , I find I like how it looks . The way the knife reflects the room around me , adding an edge to my college uniform look . My eyes are blank , cold to what was about to happen . I should feel something , but I don’t . I’ve had years to come to terms with this . What I knew would happen , what you knew would happen , and now I’m ready .

I don’t move from my position in front of the mirror until I hear you come home from work . I know I will be caught and sentenced to death for the murder by a detective , but the fear of death has long since passed . We both knew this would happen , that there was nothing we could do to stop it , for we loved each other too much to part . Even though both of our lives will come to an end because of this love , we are too selfish to give it up .

You call out to me from the living room , and I know the time has come . I move slowly , carefully , towards your voice . As I walk into the living room I put forth no effort to hide the knife . I carry it at my side . When you see it , you smile , for you too have come to terms with this fate .

I smile back at you , a loving smile , for I do love you . You come to me and kiss my mouth . It is passionate , filled with love and I kiss back . It was then that I knew exactly what to do . I put my arm around your back and pull you closer to me , the tip of the knife sliding in effortlessly . You gasp , and I take the initiative to deepen the kiss . After a brief pause of shock , you kiss back .

We stand there kissing , the knife imbedded in your abdomen , the blood running down your body , staining the carpet and my hand with red . I then pull it back out and push it back in . Another gasp escapes your mouth , but you continue kissing . I continue this motion until you can no longer kiss me or stand .

I gently lay you down , cradling your body in my left arm . Blood now stains my clothes , but I do not pay attention for you are much more beautiful . The crimson of the blood , a beautiful contrast with your ivory white skin . Blood has seeped from your smiling mouth , and I kiss you once again . This time I pull away for I feel your mouth moving , attempting to say something . I wait patiently for you to form the words and smile when you say “ I-I ... l-l-lo-love you ... m-my Li-Light ... ”

“ I love you too , my beautiful , beautiful Elle . ” I kiss her one more time , pouring all the love I feel for her into that one kiss , and as I pull away . I bring the knife across her throat . Blood rushes out , staining her skin . As the life leaves her body , I think how beautiful she looks covered in her own blood .

I set her down carefully and pull out my cell phone . I knew I could get away with this , set it up to make it look like somebody else had murdered her , I am a genius after all , but I don’t want to . I knew I wouldn’t want to , and I turn myself in .

I’m still sitting by her when the cops arrive , the knife still in my hand , and my clothes still covered in blood . They point their guns at me , and I set the knife down next to her . I stand and they attack like mad dogs let loose on a cat . As I’m dragged away , I look back at her and say the last thing I will ever say to her “ You’re beautiful Elle . Beautiful ! ”