Dead Man's Story

Why does my sanity torture me like this ? Denying me ignorance . Tearing me apart with memories . With truths ...

When did I lose my grace?

I once lived too . Together with my wife and daughter . In a house far and far again away from this hellmarked land . Strange though , I remember clear as day how they looked , yet I cant remember their names . Its like it doesn't matter as long as I know they have names . I had a name too . And I havent forgotten it but I never use it anymore . I dont need a name . Im not alive anymore ... Nothing here is alive ! This entire area of contaminated abomination is death itself and yet ... things are moving around in the dark . Hunting ... Searching ... Creatures that were never meant for the world of the living roam the forests at night , ravaging the land , leaving filthy scars that slowly expands , consuming everything around them . These unholy demons must be stopped ! They are not alive and should not move ! Im laying here , carefully camouflaged with mud . Laying here waiting . My body in a perfect line with my rifle . I am a perfect weapon ... My shoulder aches after hours spent tightly pressed against the stock . Every muscle of my body on full alert , ready to act instantly . I spend my time like this , waiting , as silent and still as I can , so I don't give my position away . I don't eat much , only what's needed to keep my body going and mind clear . I sleep only a few hours scattered over the day . I dare not sleep at night . Shadows move in symbiosis with the creatures , the perfect camouflage , and darkness is their heaven .

I see creatures through my scope , their foul eyes burning , and I put them down ... Cries echo over landscapes as it draws its final breath and falls to the ground , motionless . Some even look human ! But humans can't live here . I leave the prey where it fell and wait . Soon others will smell death and close in to feast on the cadaver of their fallen comrade and when they do , I lay them down beside . At dawn I pile the carcasses together and burn them up . With the light of fire behind me I swiftly move on to a new position and await new prey .

How did I fall this much ?

Why did I come here ? I can't remember why or when I left my life behind . All that drives me is this urge ! The urge to hunt and kill ! But I can't kill that which is already dead ... And why are these memories of my life haunting me when I'm dead ? The pictures of my family whose names I can't remember . Aren't I dead ? This whole place is dead . Nothing will ever live here . And I am to correct the mistake played out by nature . I'll play my part until this is over and maybe then I can go back home ...

But this is my home now . I am dead .

I know now how I fell . Why I lost my grace . I came here for some reason that I can't remember , but it is of no importance now . I lost my life as I entered the land where everything is dead . I became a hunter that moves in the shadows . I cry silently every night . Not because I miss my life but because I remember so little of it and still enough to make me remember how happy I was . I would prefer to remember nothing of it but this torture doesn't seem to go away . Why can't I just forget it all ?! Forget that I ever existed ... But as little as I can remember my minds clings to it , determined not to let go . I can neither remember , nor forget . My own personal Hell . I left my grace together with my life . I dedicated myself to kill .

I became one of the creatures ... Hunting ... Searching ...

I became one with the system ...

I died !